GodReflection: Talking with God.

Recently, I read again Moses’ plea as he talks to God about a desire that for forty years has pumped within his heart. Moses prays— unabashedly in his own words he records—“I begged God”:

“God, my Master, you let me in on the beginnings, you let me see your greatness, you let me see your might—what god in Heaven or Earth can do anything like what you’ve done! Please, let me in also on the endings, let me cross the river and see the good land over the Jordan, the lush hills, the Lebanon mountains.”

But God was still angry with me because of you. He wouldn’t listen. He said, “Enough of that. Not another word from you on this. Climb to the top of Mount Pisgah and look around: look west, north, south, east. Take in the land with your own eyes. Take a good look because you’re not going to cross this Jordan (Deuteronomy 3:23-27).

Moses didn’t like God’s answer. Multiple times in his final sermon we know as the Book of Deuteronomy, he reminds the people of Israel of their constant complaints and lack of trust that provoked his anger to a flashpoint of dishonor before God. Thus, the “no” answer.

Like Moses, when we pray in conversation with God, we must trust God to be The Almighty God of Love who knows exactly what is best for us. Even though it can be difficult to understand, I must accept his “no” as a holy gift. There will be a time when his gift will morph into joy and thanksgiving. Until then I am called to trust.

I suppose each one of us can make a rather comprehensive disappointment list of requests near to our hearts that God did not answer to our satisfaction. Several years ago, I related a personal story on the GodReflection Blog of my son, of Mrs. Dorsey, and of God’s “no” to a desire that pumped deep within my own heart.

Everyone knows Mrs. Dorsey. God especially knows her. She chatters with Him throughout the day. Like Moses, she is a friend of God. Her familiarity with her Bible comes from her childhood. She knows it practically by heart. Her copy—not her first—shows extreme wear. It is always with her at church and in her home. The cover has a faded streak on the front and the back where her hands secure it when she opens her worn Bible across her lap or reads it on the kitchen table.

I met Mrs. Dorsey in 1977. Our blond-hair, blue-eye newborn twin was plagued with around-the-clock seizures. After surgery, consultation with a neuro pediatrician, and a pediatrician at the neonatal unit of a large research hospital—who was also a close friend—the diagnosis was in.

Physical examinations, electronic brain scans, research studies, and collective wisdom declared a bleak prognosis. Not only would he not walk—most likely—in blindness and with a disease-damaged brain, he would also live unaware of his surroundings and of the people who loved him most.

Such a dark prediction did not faze Mrs. Dorsey. Each time when we met, we would receive her reaffirmation that our baby would be well. She was pleading to God on his behalf. We could be sure he would be healed.

We loved Mrs. Dorsey but had seen the medical exams, understood the medical prognosis, and even though we were young, we had experienced life enough to see that rain and sorrow fall on the just and unjust. It seemed to me life was not fair. God’s answer to Mrs. Dorsey and our family was “no”.

Those exchanges with Mrs. Dorsey took place forty-five years ago. Twenty-one years later, we surrounded the coffin and buried our little boy who had never spoken a word, taken a step, nor could he see our faces.

Since that experience, I am left with the conclusion that there are some things God cannot do. At least not yet—His hands are tied.  I feel the Satanic simmer of Adamic destruction temporarily at work in the world. Parallel to the Satan story, I see God’s Holy Yeast at work bubbling in the fabric of God’s Creation.

The good news is that even though evil, death, and destruction, still have a foothold in the world, God set in motion a plan through Jesus that assures me safe passage on my life’s trail. Although, it may take some Band-aids, I will arrive safely with every prayer from my heart answered by God for my eternal good.

Let me return to Moses. We now know what Moses could not envision. Thirteen centuries pass and he receives a gift for his obedient trust. His prayer is answered “yes” in the transfigured Jesus, who takes Peter, James, and John, to witness his Holy Transfiguration on a mountain in the middle of the promised land.  To the surprise of the three apostles, and surely to the delight of Moses—leader of the Egyptian exodus—God allows him to cross over, set his own feet inside the promised land, where he meets them on the mountain.

God gifted him with entrance into the land of promise just as the promised land vision was to become a reality available to every person around the globe. God’s yes answer to the deep desire of Moses’ soul made his wait worthwhile, don’t you think?

There is another “yes” to come. This one I await with a greater expectation than you can imagine.

On the first day of the newly cleansed earth, finally, my prayer, and the prayer of Mrs. Dorsey will receive its “yes” in the transfigured Jesus. In new and perfect resurrected bodies, I will hear to my delight and for the first time, Jesus as he speaks the words, “Welcome Home”, and hear for the first time, my son speak the words, “Dad, it’s good to SEE you, let’s TALK”. God’s ‘yes answer’ to my deep prayer desire of my soul will make the wait worthwhile, don’t you think?

Stay tuned.

Dr. Gary J. Sorrells

A GodReflection, Can I Trust God When He Answers No?

Gary@GreatCities.org  

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